The course of love - Alain de Botton
Body & Mind Book Reviews
The course of love - Alain de Botton
What’s in it
This book gives a refreshingly realistic view of long-term relationships. It squashes the idea that you'll meet your absolute soulmate and will be deliriously happy for the rest of your life.
Because everyone who is in a long-term relationship will know that's a lie.
Instead it introduces the concept of 'love' as a verb. Something you've got to DO.
It talks about how - because of our childhood - we could enter into and live in a relationship with attachment issues (avoidance or anxiety based).
It talks about how communications (as ever) is key. And the willingness of two people to communicate and educate.
Marriages for land and power may no longer be of this time, but neither is the purely Romantic view of eternal bliss after having found 'the one'!
All told through the lens of an example marriage.
Why I like it
I've got some outspoken opinions on the 'institution' of marriage. Something to do with being trained as a lawyer, and not being keen on lifelong contracts. I won't bore you with them.
So it was only a matter of time before someone made me aware of the views of Alain de Botton. I'd seen his TED talk. And now I've read the book.
I love it. For the realism. For the focus on love as a verb. And - of course - for the sense of humour.
Great book. Lots of learning.