The 50 careers I'll never have
But have most DEFINITELY thought about
Hi, I’m Tineke, coach for you change making, creative, multi-passionate, hard-working women. I publish my newsletter here every Friday, focusing on ONE topic to do with your career, career change, happiness, women and work, creativity and books (I love books!).
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The other day, I was on a call with someone. She told me how she was searching for what she’d like to do next.
I could see it right in front of me. The list of jobs that could fit her. The careers that could give her fulfilment, that would make best use of her talents, that she - based on the little I knew about her by that time - quite possibly would enjoy and have FUN doing!
That’s when it struck me.
Because there are SO many jobs out there, so many careers. The directions the creative, multi-passionate you could have taken are mind-boggling. Even more so now, with all the options open to you.
It made me think back over the years. Of the jobs that looked interesting. The jobs I could see myself doing. The research I did to see if it would REALLY be of interest. The ‘oh well, never mind’ moments when the reality didn’t live up to the dream.
So, today, I’m going to PLAY.
And think back to ALL those careers and jobs. The ones I will likely never have.
You ready? Let’s have some fun.
The 50 careers I'll never have
In random order:
Reception class teacher - I was 4 years old and saw my reception class teacher make a great big painting on the windows with removable paint. I was in AWE.
Painting. On. The. Windows.
It struck me as the ultimate freedom and power. I wanted to be a Reception Class Teacher too. (Well, right up until the moment there was a norovirus going round and multiple kids were sick in class. Then perhaps not so much).
Nurse - For no other reason than that we had a dressing up box with a nurse’s uniform. Everyone relax, I will (and that’s a promise) NEVER be a nurse.
Stewardess - Flying off to countries far and wide. Wearing a pretty uniform. Working unusual hours. Yes, it looked impossibly glamourous, when I was younger. I even applied to be one at one point. I never got there. Which is just as well.
Librarian - The library is my happy place. Becoming a librarian seems an obvious choice. Except it’s not just happily reading books and having literary discussions with like-minded people. Instead it’s (also) entertaining kids and lugging piles of books around the library.
Chair massage person - Once a year my friend and I would book ourselves in for a ‘pamper day’. Sauna, Turkish bath, swimming pools, various beauty treatments and massages. Bliss. So yeah, when I experienced a chair massage, I straight away looked up how to become one, how to buy one, how to train. And that was the end of that.
Writer - ‘Tineke! Tien! Do you want a cup of tea! Hello! Earth to Tineke!’ I was always absorbed in reading. No surprises then that - when younger - I said I was going to be a writer. I might still be … one day. 🤔
Architect - Bit of a leap? My first career was in real estate. I was FASCINATED by buildings and urban design. Still am, to an extent. I won’t be an architect, but it did flash through my head.
Magazine editor - Did you do this? Make magazines in your spare time? I used to. I effortlessly pulled a monthly magazine together, drew the pictures, wrote the articles, made my mum and sister read it. Ten years old I was.
Interior designer - It’s my guilty pleasure: watching house makeovers on TV. No, not the turn-everything-white-and-grey-good-enough-to-rent-out makeovers by so-called ‘property developers’ (don’t get me started). But proper design, with colours and everything.
Political cartoonist - I’m a great fan. I doodle a little bit myself. But to be a proper cartoonist? Even more so a political cartoonist? Commenting on current affairs with visually stunning, funny and very sharp quotes? Tempting. But probably not.
(OK, I’ll show you my ONE attempt at one. From a couple of weeks ago).
Graphic facilitation - I even did a course for this. Graphic recording is when someone at the back of the room draws along and captures - in pictures - what people in the room are saying. Graphic facilitation is when you stand at the front of the room and interactively engage with people and co-create a drawing that captures what is said in the event. It’s exciting and exhausting and fun. It’s also lots of travel and insecurity.
(Graphic coaching is when you support your coaching conversation with a drawing - as 89% of us are very visual. I do it in my Visual Coaching session in which we capture YOUR career story: Tell your story. You can book it here:)
Sales man - Or woman. Travelling all over the world. Closing multi-million dollar contracts. My dad did it. I wanted it too. Except for the travel. And the long hours.
Teacher - There are a disproportionate amount of teachers in my family. Art teachers. Physics teachers. Primary school teachers. I studied law. Dutch law at that. A topic that literally NO ONE has any use for, here in the UK anyway. So perhaps not.
Furniture restorer - I blame TV for this. And social media. To be able to bring a GREAT piece of furniture back to life and to use YOUR hands and skill to do it. Sounds like absolute bliss.
Industrial designer - I read about this as a teenager. The way it was sold to me was that it was designing everyday objects, like making irons for your clothes more aerodynamic. Or something. I decided against it.
Florist - Did you know that florists are the people happiest with their jobs? You can understand why, can’t you? Surrounded by beauty and colours. But yeah, standing in the cold with perpetually wet hands did it for me.
Bibliotherapist - I only recently found out about this one. I quickly read a book about it. And yes, it’s exactly what you think it is: a therapist who recommends books to people and helps them deal with their emotions through stories. Brilliant job. But years and years of training to become a therapist.
Air Traffic Controller - Yes, really! I even went for an assessment centre once. Years ago now. You had to sit in front of a screen, look at moving dots in multiple colours, click a mouse, listen to sounds AND tap your feet on controls on the floor when certain things happened. All at the same time. I was totally unsuitable, you’ll be relieved to hear. I was relieved too, and in AWE of the people who can do this.
Colour Me Beautiful ladies - I don’t know the proper term for this. But you know what I mean: one of those ladies who holds different colours in front of you and helps you decide what ‘type’ of colours suit you best. I’ve never done it. Never even been a customer. I probably never will. But playing with colours? Yes, that was always going to appeal to me.
Painter and decorator - Being active all day. Flopping paint on people’s walls. Making their houses look pretty. Not worrying too much about what to wear (white overalls, hear tied up). But no, I’ll just stick to flopping some paint on my canvases.
Magistrate - Did you know that you can be a magistrate with no legal training? OK, yes, so it’s only a part-time role, and OK, it’s a volunteer role, but wouldn’t it be FUN? Or is that just me?
Electrician - I once did a course in which I learned about doing simple electrics at home. I felt a total sense of power and competence, when smugly connecting my dimmers and light switches, and hanging up lamps. Knowingly smiling because I knew the difference between blue and brown wires. I even toyed with the idea of becoming an electrician and drive a white van. A female electrician for female customers, sort of thing. I thought about it for all of 20 seconds.
Psychologist - I got the brochures. I studied them for hours on end. But opted instead to read half the library’s books on psychology and self-help. It would probably have been quicker to enrol in university, on reflection.
Facilities manager - One of my school friends studied to become a Facilities Manager. I didn’t have a clue what it was. Now I do, and it sounds like something I would have enjoyed.
Forensic criminologist - It was - by FAR - the most enjoyable course I did in university: criminology. It introduced me to MANY of my (and other people’s) biases, about how to become more observant, about what criminologists do. Fascinating stuff.
Funeral home manager - Totally inspired by the funeral manager at my grandmother’s funeral. Funeral managers are event managers, who handle their clients and stakeholders with the utmost care and respect.
Learning and Development Manager - The variety! The ability to support people in their learning! The new technology to work with and learn about and help people get to grips with! I won’t become one, but it’s always looked like a great job.
Occupational Therapist - When I first started working for a council there were a number of Occupational Therapists working in social services. Supporting people with things they have difficulty with. (It’s also when I learned the word ‘hoist’. It’s a good word, hoist, hoist, HOIST. LOVE learning new words). Oh, plus the training sounds like GREAT fun!
Translator - Some of you may know I’m Dutch. So, for a brief moment I thought I’d help people translate things from English to Dutch (except the Dutch speak pretty good English) or from Dutch to English (I won’t - although translating Dutch sayings into English is HILARIOUS!)
Lawyer - A logical choice, right? Especially for someone who - well - chose to study Law? Except I never saw myself stand in front of a court room. Still don’t see it now. I did use it a lot in my first career in real estate though! So there is that.
Reflexologist - I’ve got the book. And I’m fascinated. But am I going to be a reflexologist and look at people’s feet all day? Probably not.
Marriage and family therapist - I blame Harriet G. Lerner and her book ‘The Dance of Anger’. People are FASCINATING to me, and how they’re forever embroiled in patterns of behaviour even more so.
Baker - Yes, I love making cakes. But making them on an industrial scale? Definitely not.
Mathematician - I was probably just above average, when it came to maths. But what I liked? The predictability of it. The fact that there was only one answer. The logic of it. I won’t, and I probably couldn’t have, become a mathematician. But I totally understand people who do.
Stage manager - One of my colleagues used to work in the theatre. Getting theatre productions ready. Being a stage manager. Every now and again I walk past the back entrance of the theatre, where many of them are lugging heavy cases-on-wheels around. The camaraderie, the deadlines, the excitement! But also, the hard work, the pressure.
Event planner - Ah yes! In my time I’ve been lucky enough to organise multiple (big and small) events. From big conferences to small webinars. I worked with some GREAT event managers. And it’s exciting: The troubleshooting when the key speaker gets stuck in traffic (which WILL happen)! The thinking of the smallest details! The conducting of a GREAT event. If I had my time again …
Post man - Walking around in shorts. Always moving. Meeting people. Sorting the mail. Bringing people their mail, cards, packages. Yes, I KNOW it’s not as rosy as I see it, but - come on! - what a GREAT job!
Midwife - Yes, this LITERALLY was never going to happen. But what a job! Bringing new life into the world. Supporting the mother (and the father, a bit, too). Being patient and present.
Proofreader - Can I just say ‘Long live the internet!’ Why? Because there are tests online in which you can do proofreading tests. I did one. Ten minutes. I hated it. I think that’s ten minutes well spent, don’t you?
Tour Guide - You know the one. Learns about the history and interesting facts of the area, and then holds the talk. Variety. Meeting different people. Performing in front of a group. I mean, what’s not to like?
Vicar - Picture this: your weekdays consists of visiting the elderly, giving support for new parents and the bereaved, once a week you prepare your presentation (sermon) which you get to perform in front of a riveted audience, you sing some songs, you’re the custodian of a great big building AND you get your rent paid for. Yeah, I’d go for it. Except for the part about religion.
Silver smith - Seriously? Do I need to explain?
Book agent - Or - you know - the person who gets to read books all day and gets to decide which books get published. I can see myself now: comfy chair, feet up, cup of tea, pile of books next to me, and absolutely NO GUILT when putting books away. AND get paid for it. Yeah, where can I sign?
Stand up comedian - Making people laugh. Standing on stage and entertaining others. One of my ex-colleagues tried it once. There ARE downsides to being a stand-up comedian. But for the purposes of this particular exercise I’m willing to overlook them.
Curator - I once went to the Van Gogh museum in Amsterdam. There were 19 (nineteen!) versions of the sunflowers there. Did you know there were 19? I only ever thought there was ONE! I felt robbed. That’s NOT how I would do it, robbing people from their illusions. But yeah, being a curator? I can see that being one would be REALLY enjoyable!
Auctioneer - Is it a sign of - you know - being distinctly middle-aged that I indulge in Bargain Hunt every now and then, or Flog It? Sitting there, appraising antiques, novelty items and cheap tat alike. Wielding the gavel and shouting loudly when selling the goods. I can do that! Looks like a great job!
Counsellor - Hang on! But you’re a coach! What’s the difference? Yes, we both want to help you make changes in your life. But the difference lies in our approach: A counsellor often goes back to your past to help you in the present. Whilst a coach focuses on the future and only occasionally touches on the past when it helps you move forward. Confusing? Yes, probably. But I work as a coach, and won’t be a counsellor. I thought about it, yes. But I won’t.
Councillor - When I first started working for a local - very rural - council I worked with a variety of councillors. What they all had in common? They wanted to make a contribution to their community, they wanted to DO something and they all integrated their councillor-ship into a ‘portfolio’ of activities.
Executive assistant - Appealing for so many reasons. Supporting decision-making. Being involved in the preparation of it. Ensuring everyone turns up at the right meetings, with the right papers, to make (hopefully) the right decisions. Organising, in other words.
Knitter - Believe it or not, I once saw an advert for knitters. Traditional seafarers’ wear, they made. You had to make the same knitted jumpers over and over again, within a certain timeframe. It put me off (plus I don’t think my back would survive it!). But I did look!
Why I’m talking to you about this
The thing is, I’m not just rattling off a random list of job titles and the reasons I said ‘no’ to them.
No, there is actual method to my madness.
I had a conversation last week. In that brief conversation we came up with AT LEAST three career ideas that sounded appealing.
I’ve just rattled off 50.
Because - when you’re in the middle of thinking about ‘what’s next’ - that’s EXACTLY what I’d like you to do!
Get curious! Write down a whole HEAP of possibilities, jobs or careers that sound of interest to you.
Prioritise them on the basis of a number of criteria, INCLUDING how much FUN they would be.
Investigate your FIRST choice, talk, try it out, and see if it STILL is something you’re interested in.
But also: identify THEMES in your choices, so that you can narrow down your search
The world is a big place. Jobs that exist now, were never even thought of five years ago. So go and investigate, follow your curiosity, and don’t forget to have FUN!
THAT is the reason we did this little - fun - exercise. (Which - I have to say - I enjoyed enormously!)
Which, of course, leaves me with only ONE question: What jobs or careers would YOU choose?
Tineke x
🔴🟡🟠
Tineke Tammes is a Career & Creativity Coach and supports professional women in making successful transitions. Besides that she is also a lifelong feminist, part-time portrait artist, never-only-read-one-book-at-any-time reader, and obsessive doodler.
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