Knowing when to quit
On being bountiful and live
It was about this time last year that I wrote an article I named ‘How to spot the signs of redundancy’.
It was inspired by how some people were taken completely by surprise when redundancies were announced. It talked about how to - well - spot the signs, LONG before the actual redundancy was announced.
The other day I was thinking back to this article.
Not to revisit it.
But to think about when it’s time to leave.
You see, looking back at my career, there have been times when I have had an uncanny knack to know when it’s time to leave, and there have been times when I definitely should have left earlier (but didn’t).
And it made me wonder: what is it that makes you just KNOW that it’s time to leave?
Because for me? The signs weren’t obvious. Not like in that article I wrote. There weren’t threats of redundancy, budget cuts, directors disappearing (sorry, I mean ‘pursuing other opportunities’, obviously 🙄). No, it was - sometimes - more subtle than that.
So, I thought I’d delve right in. Think about what DOES make you quit. What the subtle and not so subtle signs are. How to recognise them.
Want to join me and figure this thing out? Let’s go!
Knowing when to quit
Your line manager
I’m going to be blunt. The #1 reason you leave your job is your boss. This isn’t some subtle ‘what’s going on’ feeling, you’ve got to decipher. This is blatantly obvious.
If your line manager is not supportive, actively works against you, is undermining you, there is no way of improving the relationship and it doesn’t look likely that he or she will be moved on, then yes, that is the time to move on.
Do you? Move on, I mean? No. Not always. Not straight away.
There is a period of trying to make it work. Of coming up with new strategies to improve your situation. Of suffering. Of discussing the situation with your team, your HR department, your partner. Of starting to look around for other jobs.
But then? You leave. Right?
Boredom
Another reason. Much more insidious this one. Because boredom sneaks up on you. You’ve mastered the work. You can - in fact - do it standing on your head with your eyes closed. You’ve sussed out the people you work with and know how to get the best out of people. You’ve found ways of keeping the work interesting for yourself, for a while.
And then?
The thing is, it might actually take a while to realise that you are bored. It’s not that easy to pinpoint. Because boredom disguises itself as frustration, irritation, even (self) sabotage.
But when you REALISE you’re bored? The best thing for you? Is to find new challenges within your job (see my article about Job Crafting) or to leave.
Values
Your values are really important. They provide you with a guide for your decisions. They change little over your lifetime.
But we’re not always that clear on what our values are. Which means that we don’t always know when our values are being violated. Yes, we feel a sense of indignation, anger, frustration, discomfort. But why? That only becomes clearer once we identify our values.
Knowing your values is a blessing and a curse all rolled into one. Why? Because once you’ve identified them you’ll see instantly where they ARE being violated, you’ll see instantly when and how you’ve got to act in accordance with them. Which means that it gives you a sense of responsibility. Where before you could live in frustration, not clear on what was wrong, now that you KNOW that action is required you can’t not take that action.
So yes, in relation to ‘when to quit’? It’s when staying in a workplace that compromises your values is no longer acceptable to you. It’s when a culture has different values to yours, or is acting out different values to yours, and you justKNOW that enough is enough.
Ethics
A special mention here to ethics too. If your organisation is acting unethically, you might want to consider what this is doing to you.
Because staying in an organisation that is acting in a way that doesn’t feel ethical - or where you’re not allowed to act ethically yourself - has the potential to violate your values, damage your reputation and ultimately ruin your career. Once you’ve considered and/or done everything in your power to deal with the unethical practices, your next steps are - surely - to leave.
Redundancy signs
I’m going to mention them here. Because there ARE signs before big changes are announced that might (or might not) affect your role and your team:
* Your organisation isn't doing well. You can feel it, you can see it, you can read the figures or hear about them in staff meetings.
* Senior managers are 'disappearing'. New managers are being brought in.
* Mini-reorganisations are being done. Teams pop up or disappear from the organisational chart.
* Rumours start spreading. When you want to know what's going on you're not really being given an answer.
* Conflicts arise. Other people start doing the work you thought YOU were doing. People are getting tetchy and uncomfortable
* It goes quiet. You’re not included in conversations or invited to meetings. People fudge an answer when you ask them why.
These are signs. These things might not happen right in front of you. You might only hear about them from a distance. But they’re signs. Signs you can notice and act on.
(Gut) feelings
And finally, it often is your gut feelings. How you feel about a situation, a workplace, a director or line manager.
This one can be tricky.
Because the first thing I want to say is: trust your gut feelings. More often than not they are right.
But I’m also giving a word of warning: your feelings are brought about by your thoughts. A previous situation - at work or in your personal life - might have led to you being cautious, to you reacting in a certain way to certain situations. You might have suffered a higher or lower amount of trauma that leads you to react in a certain way.
So yes, trust your gut feelings. They’re telling you something. It’s for you to decipher what that is, and how you want to respond. (And if this is something you like help with I’d like to invite you to check out my summer coaching offer below!).
What can get in the way
Yeah, but, I can hear you say. I can’t just leave!
No, you can’t. You have taken this job for a reason. You have a life (or multiple lives) to pay and care for.
I’m not saying that at the first sign of trouble you should bolt.
But I would like you to consider this:
Duty
I run an annual The Artist’s Way Group. This year’s group has just finished. One of the quotes that struck me this year was this ‘We often believe that we have to be dutiful and then die, whilst what we’re actually here for is to be bountiful and live’.
I’d like you to consider that for a while.
Because … are you? Are you living bountifully?
Yes, you’ve got responsibilities. But is there any way in which you can hold those responsibilities a bit lighter? Does being ‘dutiful’ mean that you’re miserable and stay looooong beyond the time you should have left (I know I have done it, so no judgement there!)?
Opportunity
And then there’s opportunity. Because for you to know when to go, you’re going to have to create the opportunities for yourself to do so.
That might take the shape of - what someone other than me - called - a f*** off fund (or the polite version: your ‘escape’ or freedom fund).
But it also is the prospect of another job, which comes from keeping your eyes wide open, your CV updated and your networking going.
Wherever you go there you are
One last thing. And this one is from experience. ‘Wherever you go there you are’, is how Jon Kabat-Zinn says it in his book with that title.
Wherever you go there you are.
It means that - whenever you decide to take that next step - you will always take yourself there. Which *may* mean that you run into similar issues in the next job. That you still get bored, or frustrated.
Sometimes it’s worth examining if it’s the job - or if it’s you.
Because if there are patterns of behaviour you’re finding yourself repeating over and over again, if there are cycles of frustration you find yourself wound up in, it might be worth considering if there is another way of ‘leaving’. If it’s those patterns you might want to leave behind instead.
And - as I said before - if this is the case for you and you want some help with that you might want to check out the offer below.
For now, I’m going to leave you with this thought:
We’re here to be bountiful and live.
So how much bounty (not the chocolate 🍫!) and joy is there in your life? And are you ready to embrace that for yourself?
See you next week!
Tineke X
Isn’t the weather GLORIOUS? (Well, it IS here in the UK, where as I speak we’re living through heatwave #3 of the summer).
It’s hard to think about times when it will be raining, and dark by 4 pm.
It’s perhaps not the time to think about what’s next in your career.
But this summer I’m doing a thing.
I’m offering ONE free one hour coaching session per person!
So:
Are you having these gut feelings about where you’re going in your career, but have been ignoring them - up until now?
Are you not clear if it’s you or your organisation that needs to change?
Are you ready for a change - if only you knew what that was?
I have experience in career, mental fitness, leadership and creativity coaching, and can support you during times of (career) change.
If you are interested in learning more about my coaching offerings, please contact me on info@tineketammescoaching.com
If you’d like to book YOUR coaching session this summer, hit the button below. I can’t WAIT to meet you!
🔴🟡🟠
Tineke Tammes is a Career Coach and supports professional women in making successful career transitions. Besides that she is also a lifelong feminist, part-time portrait artist, never-only-read-one-book-at-any-time reader, obsessive doodler and supporter of senior leaders in their career journey.
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Great points, Tineke. Values are a big driver. And yes, we always need to look inwards, too. We tend to repeat habits and patterns in whatever contexts.