Drawing by Tineke Tammes
It never existed, I don’t think. The term, I mean. Until the eighties.
Workaholism
I’ve seen - and experienced - it first hand.
First as far back as the eighties. My dad. Always away, abroad, working long hard hours, coming home late.
Until the next stomach ulcer, which - at that point - was still thought to be the result of stress. (I think the consensus now is that it is a bacterial infection. But back then? Weeks of rest. Much to the dismay of my mum.)
And then in myself.
Working the long hours. Working in the train. Thinking about work when I was not working. Getting stressed about work. Forcing myself to go home on time, eventually, but being hyper-productive during working hours.
No fun, never fun (what fun, what even IS fun?).
You’re doing it ON PURPOSE!
You see, in my The Artist’s Way Group we’re just coming to the chapter (Week 10) in which we’re talking about the -aholisms that can stop you from doing your creative work.
Mine was never alcohol, or food, or any of the other -isms. It was always work.
And I remember so vividly the first time I read this chapter. It hit me like a ton of bricks.
Because you know what it says? That workaholism is an addiction. That workaholics DELIBERATELY put this block in place of their creativity. Because they’re scared of what might happen otherwise. What possibilities open up for them.
It’s an addiction.
And like any addiction you’re going to have to set boundaries.
I did. In the end.
I put boundaries on the amount of time I spent in the office, first of all. Especially when my son was young.
Then I started taking lunch breaks. Occasionally.
Then I started using those lunch breaks to actively think about my move out of my role - and what I wanted to do instead.
And when I was home I would actively do creative ‘stuff’ - paint, draw, doodle.
It’s been a long recovery. And it’s not there yet.
The two types of fear
I want to talk to you a bit about fear. I talk a LOT about fear.
Because, you see, fear is real.
But last week I re-read Tara Mohr’s book Playing Big again.
And in it she talks about two types of fear, explained in Hebrew words:
Pachad - a projected or imagined fear
Yirah - a kind of awe, the kind of feeling we feel when we are suddenly finding ourselves in a space larger than we have been in before
So, why am I talking about this, right now?
Because we’re in fear of those spaces that are bigger than what we’ve been used to.
Julia Cameron calls it ‘Creative U-turns’, and we make them when what’s in front of us is scaring us. Like a skittish horse stopping in front of a big hurdle.
And yes, ANY big decision, any change, where what’s in front of us is SO big that we can’t comprehend the size of it. Where - in other words - we experience ‘yirah’, will make us grab the first excuse.
‘Too busy’, we say. ‘No time’. ‘I’m WORKING!’
Yes, we’re working. But are we OVER-working? Are we working TOO much? Are we letting our working lives intrude into our private life?
I was. If I’m honest I still am. Not - at all - helped by my Hyper Achiever and Controller Saboteurs (inner critics).
But what about you?
Making life work
The other day I did a poll on LinkedIn. I asked: if given the opportunity would you work part-time?
You know how many women said ‘Yes!’ to that? Two thirds. It would have been 90% if I hadn’t included an option ‘I would, but houseprices etc’
One of the BIG issues with making life and work - well - WORK is that you don’t have TIME. Working full-time to pay the mortgage. Kids. Childcare.
Hence the overwhelming ‘Yes!’ cry on my poll.
So, I can imagine you reading this and thinking ‘Workaholism? Not applicable to me, thanks! I’d LOVE to work less!’
Except you wouldn’t be working less, would you?
You’d be ferrying the kids everywhere. Do more of the housework. Take on some voluntary work. Anything to keep busy. Am I right?
So yes, you won’t be thanking me for saying that you, yes even you, especially you, can make time. SHOULD make time.
Because being in motion every moment of every day, keeping yourself busy, all the time, is stopping you from achieving what you want.
Yes, I’m saying it.
The power of STOPPING
You see, you’re not a human doing.
You don’t have to prove yourself to anyone.
In fact, I’d go as far as saying that relaxing a bit, slowing down a bit, STOPPING will - most likely IMPROVE your performance. (I know that because of one manager TELLING me this, so I know it’s true).
And conversely, working so hard STOPS you from being the best version of yourself. It stops you from bringing the best of you, your creativity, to the table.
It stops you from thinking - for once - about work, and instead about you, your life, what you WANT.
(Yes. Stop right here for a moment. Imagine what that could look like.
…
OK. You can read on now).
My dad used to only stop on holidays - when he would crash land in front of our tent on our three week camping holiday and would inevitably spend the best part of the first week in bed with a cold or flu. Or when he was FORCED to stop because of a stomach ulcer or other stress-related illness.
It’s an example I’m still struggling to escape.
But it starts with the awareness.
Of what this particularly insidious -ism does to your creativity, your dreams and your life.
The awareness and then the DECISION to do things differently, the decision to STOP, are the first steps.
So, I’d like to invite you. Maybe even DARE you.
To stop.
Two minutes. Three minutes. Heck, maybe even an entire lunch break!
And not THINK. Not DO.
Difficult? Yes. Do-able? Absolutely. Necessary? What do you think?
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Tineke Tammes is an ICF trained career & creativity coach, who supports professional women in making successful transitions to careers of Freedom, Flexibility and Fulfilment! Besides that she is also a lifelong feminist, part-time portrait artist, never-only-read-one-book-at-any-time reader, and obsessive doodler.
Book a call here if you’d like to talk about YOUR career next steps: