Are YOU a High Achiever?
Or are you a bit hyper?
Drawing by Tineke Tammes
'Without me NOTHING would get done around here!'
It's what the little voice in my head has been telling me - loudly - this week, last week, last YEAR. Forever.
And THIS is how I would have reacted to it previously.
'That's right! So let's get on and let's do MORE of that!'
I would work harder. Sit at my desk for longer than my back would allow me.
(Read that again: yes, LONGER than my back would allow me. I would sit here, there, wherever, at my desk WITH back pain. KNOWING that I had to get up. STILL not doing it).
NOT going to the toilet.
NOT getting up to go for a walk.
NOT taking a lunch break, but instead quickly eating my sandwich between meetings.
Quickly getting some work done, before the day was rudely interrupted by a meeting. (Because - you know - everyone knows that meetings aren't work. Or something 🙄).
Grudgingly celebrating success, whilst in my head MILES ahead. To the next project, to the next job. Ever onwards. Never here.
Now, lots of you are. High achievers, I mean.
Capable. Keen to take on responsibility. Relied upon to make stuff happen. Looking to the future. Anticipating what *might* go wrong. Making sure it doesn't. The number 3 in the Enneagram Personality Test.
Oh, and *may* I mention at this point the slightest touch of perfectionism? Or, let's rephrase that, attention to detail. Right?
Right.
I get you.
You are motivated by achievement*, by getting stuff done and done well.
I was, I am, motivated by achievement. By getting stuff done.
Except, when I started my coaching business I knew ONE thing.
I didn't want to do it in the way I used to do it in my corporate career.
Not only because I am getting older and my back now quite loudly tells me that it is 'getting up or die of pain'. (Oh, the joys of getting older).
But because I've recognised something.
* Want to know more about motivations? Read this article on McClelland's Human Motivation model.
You see, this January I enrolled in a programme. It's called Positive Intelligence and it helps you identify and get rid of - what they call - 'Saboteurs'.
It's an experiential programme so we're doing the work on US first. And I'm learning a LOT.
Like that being a High Achiever is fine.
Being - or rather HAVING - a Hyper Achiever? Not so much.
Recognising your Hyper Achiever
How do you recognise your Hyper Achiever? Like this:
It's the one that *may* turn you (or has already turned you) into a workaholic.
The one that makes you work harder than anyone else.
The one that PRIDES themselves on working harder than anyone else.
The one that not only thrives on achieving things, but whose identity, whose self-worth, RELIES on achieving things.
Who celebrates successes, yes, because they've been TOLD to. And they WILL. For all of ... I don't know, 2.3 seconds?
Who secretly thinks that celebrating success is a waste of time. Because, you know, you're already looking two projects ahead. And why isn't anyone else worrying about THAT, for goodness sake?
Who causes you to be restless, always wanting to DO something. (Because you're a human DOING, not a human BEING, right?)
Who - if you're NOT doing something - makes you feel guilty, starts telling you you're lazy, no good, and yes, that without her NOTHING would EVER get done).
The one who gives you a stomach ache when something goes wrong, or sometimes even just at the thought of it. Making you work even harder.
Don't get me wrong. There's nothing wrong with being a High Achiever. You can always rely on her to get stuff done. To want to do things well. But ...
The issues with HAVING a Hyper Achiever Saboteur
And yes, I'm saying 'having' quite deliberately. Your Saboteur is a coping mechanism. A coping mechanism you have picked up in the past.
But there are three problems with having a Hyper Achiever Saboteur:
You suck everyone else into the vortex. Alienating others. Hurting your relationships.
You are frustrated and never celebrate this moment, right now.
But - perhaps more importantly - being a Hyper Achiever makes you view your identity, your self-worth, only in the light of what you DO.
What can you DO?
You see, I didn't want that. I DON'T want that anymore.
YOU may not want that either.
So what do you do?
Recognise your Hyper Achiever
Recognise your workaholism. Recognise if you're not present with your loved ones. Recognise if you're feeling frustrated with others, or if things don't go the way you want them to go.
In other words: recognise how you FEEL. Recognise how the Hyper Achiever shows up for YOU.
Break the cycle
A circuit breaker, I call it. Because the next thing is to snap out of it.
When you feel the emotions that go with being ruled by or hijacked by your Hyper Achiever get up, go for a walk, take a break, have a shower, wash the dishes, do a little mini-dance, whatever.
But break the cycle, so you can return to the REAL you, instead of listening to your Hyper Achiever.
Self love
THIS is hard. But the antidote for a particular persistent Hyper Achiever is self love.
YOU are good as you are. Read that again. You are good as you are. That's right.
Without the need to DO something, ACHIEVE something all the time.
Do something you love
I *may* have said this before, but do something you consider frivolous, without purpose, just for fun.
I say this to everyone, but I say it especially to you.
Do something FUN.
Indulge in a hobby with NO need to be good or (worse) GREAT at it. PLAY and fail and laugh at yourself.
Design your life
And yes, I'm adding this rather flippantly to the end of this list, I know.
Because recognising that you've got this Saboteur and no longer want it is one thing.
But then what?
So I'm going to ask you THREE questions (and yes, they're big ones):
1. WHAT is your Hyper Achiever STOPPING you from achieving?
2. WHO do you want to BE instead? and
3. HOW do you want your career and life to be different?
Answers on a postcard!
🔴🟡🟠
Tineke Tammes is a Career & Creativity Coach and supports professional women in making successful transitions to careers of Freedom, Flexibility and Fulfilment! Besides that she is also a lifelong feminist, part-time portrait artist, never-only-read-one-book-at-any-time reader, and obsessive doodler.
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